Being a younger brother

                                  


                                    I was constantly staring at my watch from 3.50pm, expecting the bell to ring. As soon as the bell rang, i ran to the parking lot with a chunky bag on my shoulders.I unlocked my intimate bicycle and rode as fast as i could.I even overtook some uncles riding their old scooters. The moment i entered the home, i switched on the tv without even removing my stinky socks, to watch SWAT KATS(my favourite cartoon).At the age of 12, i wouldnt mind watching cartoon network for 24*7, if i was allowed.


                                             
                                     Just when the program was about to start, my biggest foe snatched the remote from me.I think at that age, the biggest and the only foe to me was my elder brother.He changed the channel to some bloody cricket match( he wouldnt mind watching cricket matches for 24*7,if allowed). I was continuously badgering him to change the channel. Sachin got out. As though Sachin got out due to my annoyance, my foe gave me a hefty knock on my head.




                                Tears took their stand and were ready to fall on my cheeks.I was not the kind of kid who would complain to their mom.I tried to retaliate but ended up with getting even a heavier knock.

                               This was just 1 in 10 incidents a day, where i would be beaten by him.In all these times i would say to myself " Dont cry like a girl, you moron!!! One day, when you grow as taller and stronger as him,you will surely knock him on his head,atleast once. now stop crying"  Before finishing that self-talk, my tears would have already wet my cheeks.




                               I thought, born as a younger brother was the worst possible way, the god can curse you with. Because you would get knocked on your head if you watched cartoon, if you didnt bat well in a gully cricket match( even if your foe was in the opponent team), if you didnt go to shop( even if it was his turn to go to shop) and above all you would always be a SECOND-HANDER. His cycle, his apparels and  his books would be passed on to you.




                                After some few months, i heard the most 
happiest news in my life. My foe had to go to chennai for doing his engineering( Till he completed his board exams,i even had to sacrifice my cartoon programs).Then i felt like a slave who got his freedom after so many years.For the first few days after he left, i was happy.There was no one to control me. But as days passed, i could feel something was missing.As days became months, i realized that MISSING THING was my foe. 




                      I wanted to fight with him for all the silly reasons
                      I wanted to play with him and lose to him
                      I wanted to defy him
                      I wanted to get knocked on my head for that  
                      I wanted to cry for that
                      Now,I am crying not because he hit me
                      It is because he is not near me to hit 
            
                        (OMG did i write i poem????)  After some few months, he came home for holidays.I really didnt know how to react. Should i fight with him for switching on the lights when i was sleeping or should i hug him and say " I MISS U". Though my heart wanted to do the latter, something made me to do the former. Because i am from a family where words like "SORRY, THANK U, MISS U etc " are not spoken my mouth.They had to be understood. I surely knew that my foe,sorry MY BROTHER would have heard the words spoken by my heart.


   
                                  One thing i understand now is that " THE MORE YOU HATE YOUR SIBLING IN YOUR CHILDHOOD, THE MORE YOU LOVE THEM IN YOUR LATER YEARS".I am not sure whether any of my friends got such an adorable and sweet brother as i got.I now realize that God didnt curse me. He blessed me with such an exceptional brother.                                                       


                                                                               
                                                                               by prem                                          

My first kiss

     

                                    Here i am going to post a fiction. The reason why i chose to write a fiction is that atleast here i can fulfill my long lasting desire of kissing a girl which would never happen unless. But dont forget that most of the FICTIONS ARE INSPIRED FROM TRUE STORIES.




                                            It had been nearly 20months since i joined the college. I myself can sense a lot of changes within me in the past 20months.I kind of changed from a boy who used to be so careful and conscious about his life to a lad who is lethargic, under performer yet confident about his life. But one thing that never changed was the girl i had been looking from the first day of my college.Still i am not sure whether the feeling i have for her is due to infatuation or love or lust( so let me call it as THAT FEELING).




                                                           The reason for THAT FEELING on her was because she was the only girl in class who was "MY-KIND-OF-GIRL".  my-kind-of-girl means she has to be conservative, averagely brilliant,slim and most importantly beautiful.Not only she but the whole class including some professors knew that i had THAT FEELING on her.Because i used to constantly stare( to be candid, ogle) at her.A 100 times i had been caught ogling at her, but i couldnt infer anything from her facial expressions. I think   GIRLS ARE THE MOST ENIGMATIC THING IN THE WORLD.


                                           It was my 20th birthday.Got lot of wishes and lotsss of birthday bums.In the evening ,an unknow number flashed in my mobile.The most imaginative part of my brain guessed it to be her. And you know what, it was her. Her voice was confident,cheerful and filled with enthusiasm.That was so ironical.For a second i thought it had to be some prank call from my friends but fortunately it was not.




                                                       It seemed to me that her words had an essence of THAT FEELING.After few minutes, she asked saucily "what gift do you want for this very special birthday?". I replied stammeringly " a movieeee withh u???".With out giving much of thought she accepted.Surely she is not conservative atleast not as conservative as i had expected.


                                                      I dressed neatly, borrowed my friend's bike and went to the rendezvous.She made sure that the rendezvous was a no-man-area.For a moment i was awestruck looking at her beauty. At that moment i felt  THAT FEELING was purely lust.She got in the bike and managed to sit without touching me. But thanks to the chennai traffic and the strong disc brakes.




                                                        We entered the cinema hall.After some 20min i couldnt resist myself .I held her hand and our 10fingers locked each other.There was a shy smile in her lips.I rested my head on her shoulder.Still no protest.Something in my body was hugely raising( it was my heart beat).I moved my lips so close to her face that only a layer of air was between us.She then pushed me and gave me an abash look as though i was about to make her pregnant.That look made me realize that i had crossed the limit.

                               

                          




                                               Till the end of movie,her face was filled with hostility.I feared that this would be my first and last date with her.The movie was over and we reached that no-man-area to drop her.She was standing beside me.I made up my mind to apologize her.A nanosecond before words came out of my vocal cord,she pressed her lips deep in my cheek. My first kiss lasted for nearly 30 seconds and then she ran away with tons and tons of shyness.




                                                   Still i could not figure out what was running on her mind.As i said GIRLS ARE THE MOST ENIGMATIC THING IN THE WORLD.


                                             
                                                                               by  prem

A TRUE LOVE STORY

                            

                                             Here i am going to post a true love story.As you might have guessed ,its not mine. This is the first time i am getting into someone's shoes and posting a blog. so please bear with me,as you have been doing with my previous blogs.Here the story starts....


                                Me and my friend were new to the school.We were in 11th grade.We hugely missed our amiable friends gang.The vicinity was so new to us and everyone looked strange.The only thing that gave us some consolation was the GOOD LOOKING girls in that school( this was also one of the MAIN reason why we shifted to that school).As usual me and my friend occupied the last bench.


                                           Exactly two benches infront of us,sat a girl who looked to me as the cutest among many cute girls in the class.As i turned towards my friend to say about the girl, he was giving such a lecherous look that seemed like he would have raped her just by looking.He too felt that she was the best in the class.Wise men think alike.I felt, unless and until a  miracle occurs that girl would never ever talk to me.


                                             I was a good cricketer in my school days.coincidentally, she was a great cricket freak( COINCIDENTS ARE SO COMMON IN TRUE LOVE STORIES).Once in a school match,our team was suffering a lot and victory was unthinkable.I got into the field, played a belligerent knock and took my team to victory.A huge crowd of students saw the match and fortunately she was one among them.


                                                   Next day in the class,she congratulated me saying "hey u played sooo well da" I was flabbergasted and did not know how to react.I blushed, showed all my front row teeth and ran away.In next few weeks we acquainted well and even started texting. Each morning i would be so excited to go to school as i could see her and even talk a few words with her.I thought these symptoms were enough for me to believe that i was in LOVE.


                                                      After mustering some courage i thought to propose her.I took my mobile and reached her name in contacts.My mobile rang.It was she who was calling me. Another coincidence.After a few minutes of formal conversation, her tone changed and said " hey, i wanted to say something important to you. I thought of saying this a lot of time but some how i could not. please dont think me as a cheap girl and even if you dont like what i am going to say , we shall as usual remain friends then on."

                                                        I knew where she was getting at. I even started dancing duet with her in my mind before she completed her hesitant proposal. she then continued " yes I AM IN LOVE. I LOVE YOUR FRIEND SO DEEPLY. please hel-------------------


P.S:  His friend accepted her love and went on to lead a perfect teenage lover life.


                                                                                           by prem

A city within a campus

             I was travelling at 90kmph in my friend's R15. In the backseat was my charming girlfriend.We were heading to mahapalipuram. On the way we parked the bike in a calm and lonely beach.Excluding us there were no other humans.The climate and situation induced some hormones within me.I put my hand around her shoulder and pulled her closer to me.My lips were only few millimetres away from her cheek.



                                  TRING.....TRING.....TRING.......Everything was blank.I was lying in my room.My moblie was screaming and i regained my senses. That was one damn good dream.There is an adage that day dream comes true.It was my friend who called me.These friends will never allow you to kiss a girl even in your dreams.He called me to inform that he was selected for a cultural event in IIT-M.At first i was reluctant to move my body from bed but due to his persistence i decided to go.He warned me to dress neatly and trendy, knowing my bad sense of dressing.




                                I searched my entire wardrobe but couldnt find any attire that suited for the event. IIT even had standards for dressing that i couldnt match.Thanks for my friend from whom i borrowed a branded t-shirt and shoes.After passing through the famous chennai traffic i reached IIT.The institute which have been portrayed to us as the gateway for attaining MOKSHAM, the institute where only the brighter of the brightest minds get admission and for guys like me entering that institute even as an audience was quite an achievement.



                                   
                                        So far in my life i have seen only colleges within a city but there it was other way round.It was said that IIT-M was widespread across600acres.Nearly 10times larger than my college.Students there were 20times smarter than my collegemates(both intellectually and physically).At times god is so careless in his work that he blesses a few with both brain and beauty, curses many with neither of the both.



                                     The ambience there was something i have never experienced in my life before. I dont know whether i was two generations back or those students were two generations ahead.I was just scanning every student from top to bottom with my mouth wideopen. I do not know why i did that.Girls wearing chudidhar seemed very odd because girls there wore shorts or skirts that never crossed their knee and wore t-shirt that had no sleeves.





                                                    Like this there were 1000 other reasons to be envy on IIT students but one thing that never crosses our mind is the dedication and commitment they had shown to enter this prestigeous institute. I do not believe in the phrase " GENIUS BY BIRTH"  but the ratio of dedication shown by IITians and guys like me will surely be more than 100000:1. At the end of the day


                                          EVERYONE GETS WHAT THEY DESERVE

                                                                                                                                                
                                                                                        by  prem

power of an arrear

               

                                           " THERE IS NO CAREER WITHOUT AN ARREAR."  I worked very hard to prove this quote as though it was said by Aristotle. Atlast i achieved it.I have an arrear in my 5th semester.I wonder how i escaped the first 4 semesters.Obviously a long time thief will once be caught.




                                                  I dont know from when i started feeling blogging as my solace.Here i am trying to write down the feelings i underwent when i saw the results. Our results came after a long wait as if a THALAIVAR movie. If you are a student who is distressed of being a 8pointer or a student who is happy clearing atleast 3 papers per semester, you may not understand my feelings.




                                                     The most embarrasing moment in one's life would be to inform your mom(who has always seen you as a topper) that you have failed in a exam. I rehearsed 100 times before informing my mom but i blurted out in the worst possible way i could.Surely a tranformer must have blasted inside her on hearing this but her tone was calm,steady and even encouraging.I think mothers might have attached some kind of microchip in our heart when we are born that they react exactly as our heart wanted them to.






                                                     But the most encouraging thing is not words from mom,dad or brother but when your friend has the same number of arrears as you.Then your sorrow of ocean will be reduced to swimming pool.Mine was reduced to baby swimming pool as many of my friends has an arrear.My college ro(su)ckz.




                                            The first thing our heart would say to the arrear friends is "NANBEN DA".Though we may console him by words like " machi, we shall clear in revaluation da cool!!!!!!"  we would secretly be praying " Dear god, if i dont clear, pleaseee make sure that my arrear friends also doesnt clear the paper."  how true we are to our friends???




                                               My mind was obsessed with one serious question from the time i saw my results  " AM I TALENTED ENOUGH TO FULFILL MY PARENTS EXPECTATIONS ON ME???" The question has never crossed my mind in all these years. YES, this is the power of an arrear,it can shatter your 20-years old self confidence.




                                                                               by prem
                                                                                                                                                                     

Am i friendly?

                                             
                                      
                                          Play station,movies,books and friends. The one thing that is common among the four is that they are good time-passes. Yes, this is how i have been seeing my so called close friends. Then think the way i would have treated my not-so-close friends. 




                                               The reason why i felt like writing about friends was that i was taunted by my friends. Though taunting is such a common incident that we even take turns in targeting someone among our friends,but this time i sensed something unusual. My buddies face seemed to say YOU-F****R-THIS-IS-TIME-FOR-REVENGE. I dont know whether i have treated them so badly or are they so bad. I guess Newton would have experienced the same because of which he would have written his 3rd law.






                                           The one question that have been haunting me for years is ' do i have a close friend?'.Afraid of answering NO to the question , i have skipped it all these years in my mind.Atleast now i got the courage to answer the question.Ofcourse the answer is a big NO.If i had any, i would not be writing this blog.I would have shared my feelings with him.But some poor guys do not even know that  they do not have close friends. Do you want to check ? then try answering these questions




                                              1) Have you ever said about your family problems(if you have any) to your close friend?       
                                                   


                                              2)Have you ever discussed about your true love with that friend?


                                               3)Have you ever sincerely advised him when you know that he is leading a  wrong path?
  


                                                 4)Have you ever spent money for him without any HESITATION?     
                                                 


                                               5)Atleast have you ever felt " this is the guy who would walk along with me in all my difficult situations?"




                                     If the answer is YES, then it is well and good. If it is NO, then you have just joined the club of self-centered people in which i am a prominent member.Its time for our club members to introspect because there is surely a problem with our attitude.I am damn jealous on my father and brother who have handful of ACTUAL close friends.How could i, having the same genes as them did not inherit all their good characters?  May be this attitude problem is the problem of my generation.




                                         Anyway it is high time that we expunge the concept ' friends are just meant to accompany us for the movies, boost our new year eve enjoyment , gives company when we tease someone etc etc. They are really worth a LOT LOT more than that.






                                                                                      by prem                                                                    

A memorable week

      


                                     HE came to chennai to have an in-plant training. This was the first time he stayed in a metropolitan city for a week. HE is my, sorry was my best friend till my 12th std. HE and me had a similar taste in most of the things. Hence we ended up in relationship with a same girl. Somehow girls have the ability to change best of friends to worst of enemies. This is was two years ago.




                                                     Now he called me and said about his in-plant training. I do not know why he called me. Was it because i was the only known person he had in chennai or because he wanted to renovate our relationship. Being an optimist, I believed the latter and asked him to stay in my room.




                                   
                                                           The first day itself he planned a date with one of his many gf. The big advantage of having smarter friends is that they have a lot of girl friends.In the pretext of showing route to their rendezvous, i intervened in their date. Who wants to act like a gentleman when you know that a pretty girl is only few yards away from you. I had free icecream in Baskin Robbins, ogled a cute girl very closely.Obviously HE is my best friend atleast for these reasons.




                                                         Next day he wanted to watch a movie in one of the hi-fi  theatres. Reciprocating for the free icecream and ogling of the pretty girl, i asked bike from one of my friend to take HE to the movie. At first i was hesitant to ask for the bike but my friend responded as though it was not a big deal. Then i realized not all people are stingy and selfish like me.




                                                       His next plan was to taste alcohol. Being the host we had the pooja in my room, after facing some awkward expressions from my roommates. That night alone i spoke more truth deep from my heart than my entire life.I think HE did the same too.That night we took an unsaid oath that there would be no more fissure in our friendship. If boozing can make us to express our true affection on others, why dont parents allow their children to booze regularly? For next 2days my roommates looked at us as though we had murdered a 5year old girl in that room.





                                                            Before leaving chennai, HE bought me a t-shirt.Though it was rs.120 saravana store t-shirt, i value it as rs.1200 allen solly t-shirt. Only on the night he left chennai i understood how true the quote " WE DO NOT KNOW THE VALUE OF LOVED ONE, WHEN THEY ARE NEAR US"  .




                                       It is not the free icecream, not the girls he knew , not the oc t-shirt but the affection i have for him and HE has for me made him, sorry make him my best friend.




                                                                                      by prem