Random thoughts

                    


                              This time i really do not have any idea on how i should write or even what i should write. But some part of me wants to write the random thoughts in my mind, which has grown intensely in the recent past. Hence this post may not be coherent, may not make any sense and may not beguile you(assuming my other posts have).




                                 I wake up at 7- go to college- while away all the seven hours chit chatting with friends-back home-watch a movie-have a spicy dinner-go for sleep.This was( and is) my routine for the past two years.I have been doing this in the pretext of leading a COLLEGE STUDENT LIFE(as though college students are never meant to do anything useful).


                     
                                      But now i am copiously frustrated of following such a lethargic routine.I feel as though all my potential and abilities are being wasted and rusted.I feel like a stray dog which squanders without any purpose in life. I badly want to change something within me. I want to have a specific goal. I want to work hard to achieve that goal. I want some challenging task that could kindle my underlying ability. Above all i want to prove to myself that, i am lot more capable than what others think of me.


            
                                But where do i start and what do i change?  Should i regularly study the chapters taught in the class like a 10th grade student.I am frustrated to an extend that i even wont mind doing that( but obviously my so called room-mates would mind). Because the students who looked to me as good-for-nothing, imbecile- bookworms, all of a sudden seems to be achievers and winners(especially with placements only a few months away).


                       
                             The fire to change something had been ignited within me, for quite a number of times in the past also.But they have not lasted for more than a couple of days.Usually this fire would be ignited whenever i see an exceptional movie or read an inspirational book.Whenever this fire is within me i would feel like, every task is within the circumference of my ability circle.I would even set some elusive goals like to become the university topper. But why doesnt this fire burn within me eternally?


                       
                               Most of the time, this fire would be extinguished by pouring some cold water.By cold water, i mean the peer. So should i stop talking to my classmates and lead a monk life?(rather than the COLLEGE LIFE).Or am i giving the most familiar excuse for not being determined enough,to keep the fire burning.




                                       But this time i feel something is different.I feel i am on the right path that leads to success.I think i have the mental strength to say NO to the peer pressure.I think i have enough fuel to keep the fire burning.


                    
                             If something is different this time shouldnt i be preparing for my tomorrow's internal rather than wasting an hour in writing such a horrible blog. So is this also another ignition that would extinguish in a few hours??????




                                                                                                                                                           
                                                                                  by prem