Another love story

                 Keerthana and Gokul were friends, from the day when Gokul lost his lunch box and keerthana shared her lunch with him, in their 4th standard. From then on, their friendship grew stronger and stronger. Even when they reached the latter part of teenage, not even a single student in the class, had mistakenly considered them to be lovers.Because the way they felt about each other was full of dignified affection.


            There was a beautiful rapport between them. Gokul always felt so comfortable and light-hearted in keerthana's company- the way a brother would feel about his little sister. As most of the guys, Gokul too fell in love with one of his classmates named Divya. Gokul was good in studies, a promising athlete and was smart. There was no reason why Divya wouldnt accept Gokul's proposal. He proposed. She accepted.




            Gokul was so exultant and wanted to share his happiness with Keerthana. On hearing Gokul's love, Keerthana congratulated him and was as happy as Gokul. Actually SHE WAS NOT.She just acted as though she was happy but deep inside her she had a mixture of feelings.




               Angry, guilty, jealous,sorrow and LOVE. But where did the love come from? May be love was the reason and cause for her other feelings. Keerthana herself didnt know when love had crept into her heart. For few days, she had an immense doubt on whether the feeling she had for Gokul was love or something else. But after a deep introspection ,she realized it was love.A TRUE LOVE.




            Whenever Gokul said something about Divya to Keerthana, she would respond as if she was still the same old friend. Keerthana didnt have the courage to express her love to Gokul, who was thinking her as more of a sister than a friend. Even worse was that Gokul was in love with some other girl.




                     But as days passed, Keerthana was frustrated of acting. She wanted to express her true self. She didnt bother about how Gokul would react on hearing her feelings. She just wanted to remove her mask.She mustered some courage,made up her mind and met Gokul in a restaurant. She blatantly expressed all her feelings to him. At first Gokul thought she was playing some kind of prank but later realized she was damn serious.Gokul was silent till she finished and then walked out of the restaurant without uttering a single word.


                   Three years have passed. Gokul has never spoken to her since then and will never in future. Keerthana  still loves Gokul the same way she has been loving him since that unknown day.

P.S:  Would you be surprised if I say that the above story is true and I am the witness for every scene of Keerthana's love story? In my very little experience, I have seen only fast-food love that doesnt exceed a year or even less. I feel that Keerthana's love is pure and true. After all,True love story neednt have an happy ending always.


                                                                                       by prem




                                                                                                                                

EXAM DAYS

                    


                      Now, after my semester exams got over, i feel like i am back in the Earth. For the past 25days, it was as though the world got alienated from me( oh no!!! actually it was me who got alienated from the world). I didnt watch a movie, i didnt speak as usual to my mom, i didnt chit-chat or gossip with my friends, i didnt play cricket( above all i didnt blog!!!!! LOL). Even if i did any of these things, i would do it with a twinge of guilt in my heart.




              Am not sure whether this is the right way to approach an exam. Given the college in which i study and if i had to atleast clear all my papers, i couldnt find any better way than this alienated approach. My college allows me to enjoy my college life to the maximum. It dosent restrict me on what i should wear or on how i should behave in class. To be succinct, we would be like left out donkeys, all round the year except on the EXAM DAYS.




              My college doesnt even give any hint on how i should prepare for my exam nor does it conduct any useful tests before exams(exactly contrary to what i have been used to, in my school days). I dont still understand why my college is rated high and how did it earn its reputation. May be my college is just like the good-for-nothing coke and pepsi, where people, though they knew its not good for their health, they are willing to spent money on it, only because its attractive and prominent.




                    After all, our mind is just like any other part of our body. If you jog after so many months,surely your leg will pain a lot. It takes time to get used to jogging. But here the problem is, before i get used to studying, the exams get over.




                   If at all i study by conjuration, one of my friend would be bragging about the CSK match. Not even the strongest of mind can concentrate on the books when CSK is roaring. At times i wish, i had born in Hyderabad or Pune so that i wouldnt have anything to cheer about my team in IPL and i can fully concentrate on my exams.




                         So, it has all made, clearing a paper an insurmountable task. CLEAR or ARREAR either of these words is more than enough to describe my performance in any semester exam. Who wants to aim for the sky, when reaching even the tree top is difficult.




             They say that nearly 1 lakh engineers pass out every year. I used to believe that i am much more talented and capable than an average student. But i dont sense that these 1 lakh students are going through the ordeal, i have been going through during the EXAM DAYS. This has lead to a reasonable question that keeps lingering in my mind: whether all these students are more talented than me or am i not talented enough?




                                                                                                                                by  prem

Reviving friendship

                Arun finished bathing and dressed in a neat shorts and t-shirt.He was so excited as he was about to meet his best friend Gautham.They havent meet each other for the past 6months.During their school days, they were the paradigm for friendship.Arun didnt have a lot of friends but he never bothered about that.He knew he had Gautham to whom he can share everything and anything.But after their schooling, their intimacy gradually diminished.They hardly texted each other and they never spoke at all.




            Its been 2years since they joined college.They both have came to their hometown for their semester holidays.This time, Arun was determined to revive their relationship.He was on his way to Gautham's home.The home where he had spent lot of hours than his own home.On seeing Gautham, Arun was awestruck.Gautham had changed his hairstyle, pierced his ears and for a moment Arun couldnt recognize his own best friend.




                Not only his physique and apparels have changed but also the way he spoke and behaved.Arun couldnt see Gautham as he used to in his school days.He couldnt connect himself with Gautham.After some usual and boring questions like " When does your college reopens?  How have you done your exams? How is the placements in your college? et cetera" they had nothing to talk about .Arun was amazed at the thought what 2years of seperation had done to their friendship.Once there was myriad things to talk about but there was no time. Now they have myriad free time but nothing to talk about.




                    Arun distressingly came back home.He realized that Gautham had changed a lot that they couldnt be as close as they once were.His intention of reviving their friendship turned out to be an utter failure.For the next two days,Arun was so bored in his home.He would take his mobile and type " Hey Gautham r u free da? shall we hangout somewher?" but this message would be saved in his drafts.He deeply wanted Gautham to call him first but Gautham never did.(When there is a small fissure in any relationship,these kind of silly egos makes it even wider.)




                    On a fine thursday evening, Arun was extremely bored that he couldnt restrain himself from texting to Gautham.Gautham replied and they planned to meet in their same old cricket ground.They had a good evening-enjoyed themselves playing cricket with their neighbours after a long time.After the match everyone went home except these two.




                                 They sat and silently enjoyed the cool breeze having nothing to talk.Then suddenly Gautham broke the silence    " Arun, you have changed a lot after joining college da...." .Arun was flabbergasted.Gautham just spoke the exact words running in Arun's mind.He just managed to ask " is that so?"




Gautham:" Ofcourse da.You seem to be so matured.You are not as jovial as you used to be.And you know what, i feel like our friendship has attenuated to mere acquaintanceship. I feel like i wanted to discuss many things with you.But the fear of you being insensitive to me, curtailed me."




                 Arun wanted to hug him and say sorry for being such a lunatic.Tears swelled behind his eyes.He controlled the tears and replied " Hey machi dont talk like a sentimental girl.It doesnt suit you at all"


              
                        Yes, this is the biggest problem with teenage boys.They hide their inabiliy to speak their feelings with some lame tauntings.        




                                                                                  by prem




                                                                                                                           

my dad or cricket?

                


                    The class teacher was giving the progress report for the recently held quart-yearly examination. As usual, pravin was the topper of 9th std B-section.He has been the topper and got the proficiency award for the past four years. A major part of the students in the class envied him and for the remaining students, he was their best friend and role model. He was not only good at studies but also, even better at sports. Especially in cricket.

                             In fact, pravin's dream was to become a cricketer. It would be an understatement to call it just a dream. He loved the game.He enjoyed playing cricket.He would be ecstatic whenever he hit a boundary.He knew his true passion was cricket.Though he had heard most of his friends saying the same, he knew, the way he felt about cricket was different.




                    He was not like an average 14year old boy. He was far more matured than his age boys were expected to be.This maturity may be due to the way in which he was brought up.His father was an english teacher in a mediocre school and his mother was a home-maker.His family was a typical middle-class family where the responsibilities on a child's shoulder is heavier than on parent's.




                            His father was the perfect gentleman pravin has ever seen. Pravin loved him so much and he always wanted to make his dad happy. But the conventional notion " CRICKET WILL SPOIL A CHILD'S ACADEMICS"  was believed by his dad too. But his dad didnt restrain pravin from playing cricket. He conceived pravin was more interested in his studies than in cricket.  




                                    The school cricket team selection was held and without any second thoughts pravin was selected. The coach asked him to come to practise from next week, WITH HIS KITBAG.All of a sudden pravin's exhilaration was cut down.Where would he go for the kit bag? Even he hadnt got his dad's consent to play for the school team , let alone the problem of kitbag. 




                               For the next few days, he was in an immense dilemma on whether he should let away the opportunity for playing for his school team or he should approach his dad for the kitbag and make his dad feel distressed. He had never been in such a critical situation in his life.He felt like this must be the most difficult situation one could face.




                            After giving much of thought, he decided to take the toughest decision. Yes, he decided to sacrifice his true passion.He buried,deep down, all his dreams of becoming a professional cricketer. He pictured himself to remove the pads,gloves and helmet, slowly one by one.Though he made up his mind, he was deeply dejected inside. For an unknown reason, he was angry on his parents,on his friends,on everyone and mainly on himself for taking such a coward decision.




                                The day after the next, when he returned from school, his dad asked him to get ready to go outside.At that moment pravin's intuitive and pragmatic part of his brain contradicted each other.


INTUITIVE PART:  This outing must be to buy a kit for me.
  
PRAGMATIC PART:  I even hadnt informed dad that i was selected for the team.Then how could he know that i needed a kitbag.


INTUITIVE PART: may be, seeing me in a depressed state,he could have inquired about it to my friends.


PRAGMATIC PART: But he was as normal to me as everyday and if at all, he had inquired to my friends, they would have informed me about it.


INTUITIVE PART: ok i lost.




                Pravin got ready and sat in the scooter.After riding a few metres, his dad asked him " DO YOU KNOW THE BEST SPORTS SHOP TO BUY A CRICKET KIT?"






                                                                                 by prem                                                           

how gifted are we?

                        How many of us realize, how gifted are we? First of all, do we realize that we are gifted in life? I got answer for this question in a simple incident.So i thought, i should share it with you.Because we dont see a lot of things that makes us to ruminate about our life( or WE ARE TOO LAZY TO RUMINATE).




                      It was a nice, bright,hot sunday evening. Having no useful work to do, as usual we planned for a movie.I got ready too early as i was so bored in home and went to railway station to catch an electric train.There i saw a bizzare family.I had been to that station a 1000times, but i had not seen that family earlier.May be all the 1000times i must be in a rush or that family must have moved to that station for the first time.




                                The family had five members.The father had a long beard, with a beer bottle in his hand.He looked worse than the worst beggar i have ever seen in my life.The mother was babbling something, looking at the young baby in the cradle which was tied just near the ticket counter area.The remaining two children who were not more than 8years old, shared a meagre amount of food between them.




                                      Neither did i speak to them nor did they share their misery with me.But anyone who sees them could easily understand the level of poverty,they were sunk into.Most of you might have seen such a family.Even i might have seen such a family earlier and just moved on.But on that day,for an unknown reason i felt something different.A part of me, wanted to do something about it.




                               Most of us,would just feel pity for that family and would carry on with our work. Yes, that may be the most pragmatic thing we could do. Most of us in this society are selfish men and women.Atleast, we can use that selfishness to improve our life.We need not help that family, but we can help ourself by learning a lot from that family.




                                      I learned. I realized , how gifted i am. By the term gifted, i dont mean the financial status alone.My friends, my sibling, even the institute in which i study and above all my parents.I feel that the reason why we didnt realize the gifts in life, is our parents.Because they love us so much that they dont let us outside this sophisticated world we are living in. They always wanted to provide us with all the luxuries they could.




                       But is it not their duty to teach us, what luxury means actually.I dont think most of the parents teach that.Most of the students, unfortunately,take LUXURIES AS NECESSITIES. Isnt all those android mobiles, huge bikes, branded shoes,a movie every week et cetera are luxuries? Do we realize that? By realizing our gifts, i dont mean to be COMPLACENT. I just want to enjoy and savour every little thing we got and keep on working to reach next level in life.




                             I think, to an extent i realized how gifted i am, after seeing that family.If at all you ponder something after reading this post( which i am sure would never happen), i think i have done what i intend to do.




                                                                                          by prem






                                                                                                                                
                              

A birthday celebration

             


                    It was another damn boring day, full of theory classes. Every student's face in the class looked as if they had been sedated. My gang, so tired of sleeping from the first hour, wanted to stay awake.The only technique that we knew to stay away from the sedation was TO PLAN. Yes, we love planning, not about our placements,not about our higher studies but on how we ought to spent the weekend as though we had been exhausted from studying on the weekdays.




                              Fortunately one of our friend's birthday happened to fall on that saturday. So each of my friends were so enthusiastic in giving their ideas on how to celebrate.After some 2hours of discussion, a plan was finalized.On that day evening at around 7pm, everyone reached our home and were getting ready to leave.All of a sudden the plan was changed.I had no clue on who changed the plan or why the plan was changed.Change of plan at the last moment was one thing that our gang got used to from the first year.




                     The plan was to find a resort in ECR and booze-up.( for this simple plan we had spent nearly 3hours discussing. THATS OUR GANG).ECR was one road where my friends can use the full potential of their above-180cc-bikes and can showoff their driving skills.I felt as if we were participating in some MOTOGP race because none of my friends bike traveled at less that 80kmph.




                            Believe it or not, whenever we had been to ECR, one of us would get caught by the police.This time was no different.This time the policeman even went a step further and beat one of our friend for behaving imprudently.If you think that we felt sorry and consoled our friend, you are absolutely wrong.What if that guy happened to be the funster of our gang? yes, we had got an incident to reminiscent for next 1year.




                      Paying half of the bribe demanded, we started again.Most of the resorts were full and if at all rooms were available in some resorts, they were not within our limited budget.At last we found one in mahabalipuram that suited us.Everyone was so eager to booze after a long gap( long gap means not more than 2months).I think, the most exciting thing one could experience is that you being sober and watching your friends getting high.You really wouldnt believe that these were the people who had been your friends for the past 3years.




                           One of my friend started crying,saying all his problems.I really didnt know how should i react.I realized that alcohol makes you to reveal the deepest secrets buried in your heart.Another friend kept on puking as if he had gallons of vomit stored in his tummy.The worst thing was that he would puke exactly when we finished cleaning his previous one.Each one of my friend behaved uniquely in a bizarre way.I felt like a warden in a psychiatric hospital, controlling and consoling everyone.




                              At around 4am, most of them slept ,oblivious to the stinky smell hovering around the room.Though i was tired, i didnt feel sleepy. I got down and had a long walk on the lonely street.It was cool, pitch dark and so tranquil (except the sound of some dogs barking).The situation made my mind so serene. I was deeply contemplating but not sure on what i was contemplating.




                                May be it was about the way my friends behaved, may be it was about how i would behave if i booze or may be about should i ever booze in my life.Though i knew that boozing was not all that sinful thing,though i knew that boozing occasionally would cause no big harm,some part of me wanted to advice my friends not to get drunk.But i knew that i didnt have the courage to advice them.


                                 So as usual i did the most selfish thing.I advised(and promised) to myself that i should never booze in my life.




                                                                                         by prem
                                                                                                                                             

Random thoughts

                    


                              This time i really do not have any idea on how i should write or even what i should write. But some part of me wants to write the random thoughts in my mind, which has grown intensely in the recent past. Hence this post may not be coherent, may not make any sense and may not beguile you(assuming my other posts have).




                                 I wake up at 7- go to college- while away all the seven hours chit chatting with friends-back home-watch a movie-have a spicy dinner-go for sleep.This was( and is) my routine for the past two years.I have been doing this in the pretext of leading a COLLEGE STUDENT LIFE(as though college students are never meant to do anything useful).


                     
                                      But now i am copiously frustrated of following such a lethargic routine.I feel as though all my potential and abilities are being wasted and rusted.I feel like a stray dog which squanders without any purpose in life. I badly want to change something within me. I want to have a specific goal. I want to work hard to achieve that goal. I want some challenging task that could kindle my underlying ability. Above all i want to prove to myself that, i am lot more capable than what others think of me.


            
                                But where do i start and what do i change?  Should i regularly study the chapters taught in the class like a 10th grade student.I am frustrated to an extend that i even wont mind doing that( but obviously my so called room-mates would mind). Because the students who looked to me as good-for-nothing, imbecile- bookworms, all of a sudden seems to be achievers and winners(especially with placements only a few months away).


                       
                             The fire to change something had been ignited within me, for quite a number of times in the past also.But they have not lasted for more than a couple of days.Usually this fire would be ignited whenever i see an exceptional movie or read an inspirational book.Whenever this fire is within me i would feel like, every task is within the circumference of my ability circle.I would even set some elusive goals like to become the university topper. But why doesnt this fire burn within me eternally?


                       
                               Most of the time, this fire would be extinguished by pouring some cold water.By cold water, i mean the peer. So should i stop talking to my classmates and lead a monk life?(rather than the COLLEGE LIFE).Or am i giving the most familiar excuse for not being determined enough,to keep the fire burning.




                                       But this time i feel something is different.I feel i am on the right path that leads to success.I think i have the mental strength to say NO to the peer pressure.I think i have enough fuel to keep the fire burning.


                    
                             If something is different this time shouldnt i be preparing for my tomorrow's internal rather than wasting an hour in writing such a horrible blog. So is this also another ignition that would extinguish in a few hours??????




                                                                                                                                                           
                                                                                  by prem